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Support this work with your donation WEEKLY READER August 12, 2008 There is a holy clarity that comes with a tragic death. A mother tells me that last night, because of Owen, she said yes to her three year-old wanting one more bedtime story. We feel the preciousness of our blessings fiercely, perhaps more than ever before, and that is Owen working as an angel to keep us grateful and careful with one another. If you'd like to read how so many have been touched by his too brief life and death, go to www.owengerson.blogspot.com. Alison and Stephane's brilliant and poignant eulogy is there, as well as information about the memorial fund. Gay and I will be returning to Santa Fe August 24. We are always glad to see you for the Wednesday minyan, and never more than on August 27th, 5:30 at St. Bede's. Below the letter is the posting I wrote for the blog. The time will come, Owen, when we will remember every precious moment of your brief life over and over. We'll see you playful as a dolphin in the swimming pool, screaming when the Yankees scored the winning run, or magically absorbed in a rich, imaginal world. For now, a fleeting glance is all we can handle. What makes this "hour of lead" possible to bear is the presence of blessings even in hell. A child's death is like no other. In tragedy people see how foolish disagreements are, and they remember what is most important. Family wounds are healing. Bubby (Bubster to you) and I have decided to marry. Friends have become the kind of family we dream about. They know they cannot take away the pain, so they bring food, do laundry, and stay beside your family. Your parents and Julian are honoring your memory with great courage, kindness, and empathy. From your grandparents trying to be strong for their children to your young cousins and friends bringing the joyful sound of life as a counter to crying and Kaddish, each has given and received solace in your home that so reminds us of you. Mamoute too is doing his part to remind everyone that life goes on. A hawk or maybe an eagle circled overhead on Thursday as all eyes fell on your coffin. Some of us felt the tender breeze that blew over your grave. We may not know precisely where you are, but we do know that few of us will ever touch as many lives as you have. Even fewer will leave your legacy. There will be parents who will have learned from you the preciousness of the time they have with their children; they will become better parents. There will be children who will have had their hearts broken in such a way that they will always have a special empathy for others' pain; they will be healers We who remember your heartbreakingly beautiful blue eyes, your phenomenal capacity for bacon, and your tender, passionate love for your family, will make your memory blessing by loving better, forgiving quickly, and by never taking what matters most for granted. Some may think that a raft trip is a risk. We take our chances every time we get into the car. The biggest risk is loving. For all the pain that makes it difficult to eat, sleep, and take a deep breath, we will always be grateful for our time with you. You wrote, "White is when you don't make sense." Your death makes no sense. It is up to us to give it meaning. May the pain of missing you make us better people. We'll try to be grateful for what we had of you and we'll keep faith that there will be a time to enjoy life again. You have become one with the Mystery, Owen. I don't know why you're not with us, nor am I certain of where you are. What I do know is that the tear in so many hearts caused by your absence in so many hearts has caused a great awakening of kindness. That's where we'll find you, in the kindness of one to another. These sightings of you will help all who loved you to live.
All HaMakom gatherings are fragrance free in support of our chemically sensitive members. Please refrain from wearing perfume or scented body products when attending HaMakom services or All HaMakom gatherings are fragrance free in support of our chemically sensitive members. Please refrain from wearing perfume or scented body products when attending HaMakom services or events. Send items for the Weekly Reader to: freeart611@yahoo.com |
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